April 27, 2012

The Secret To Tenkara's Fish Catching Superiority

Okay...now this is super duper top secret stuff...but I'm going to show you what makes tenkara 1000% times more effective than any other method of fishing.  Yeah, us goofballs with the telescoping graphite rods aren't lying when we annoyingly boast about tenkara's fish catching superiority.

A few months ago, a tenkara guide I won't mention by name once almost spilled the beans regarding this secret in a popular forum...and then had to cover his tracks quite hastily with some sort of "certification" excuse.  That's why us tenkararians are encouraged to throw people off the scent by spreading the fabricated sakasa kebari "one fly" mythology around in liberal quantities.

See this is something we really aren't supposed to let get out - or at least without risking severe bodily harm by ninja attack - but Lilly's been taking karate classes for a month or two, so I think she can hold them off while I flee the scene.


So anyway, here's the deal...

Exhibit A:  A standard tenkara rod.  In my case, a Tenkara USA Series I Iwana.


To find the secret that makes tenkara "go," you first need to unscrew the handle cap, or whatever it's called...


Okay, with the cap off, the secret should immediately present itself...do you see it yet?


No, let me pull it out a bit more...


That's right.  Hidden within the handle of each and every authentic tenkara rod, is a lock of 100% Japanese unicorn mane.  And anyone that is anyone knows that nothing attracts fish, especially trout, better than the magic of genuine unicorn hair.


Just don't tell anyone else...okay?  Can't have those reel-toting heathens disturbing the secret unicorn stash.

And if upon inspection your tenkara rod doesn't contain unicorn mane...well, by all means contact Tenkara USA and and tell them Troutrageous sent you.  They have an excellent warranty program and although this specific benefit is not advertised, Daniel & crew will make things right; just make sure to use code word "cotton candy," so they know what you are talking about.


26 comments:

  1. And here I thought it was going to be full of Jack Daniels :) Karate Chop, Hiyah! Good stuff :) Tight Lines

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    1. Jack Daniels belongs in the flask or in the belly.

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  2. HEY! Mine didn't come with a lock of unicorn mane!
    I am going to have to talk to Daniel about that.
    Great post!
    Brian

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    1. I think T.J. is already overloaded with requests.

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    2. I guess I'll hit them both up then in July!

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  3. If the unicorn mane is stuffed into, for instance, an LL Bean 7 wt. will it have the same salutary effect on catch rates? I'd like to work on my big-river fishing, so please let me know.

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    1. It may, but it has to be harvested while fresh. Nothing is worse than a dried out unicorn mane.

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  4. Funny Sh@t Mike! But didn't anyone ever tell you?...you're supposed to leave it in, don't pull IT out!

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    1. Yeah, I made that mistake while fishing when I lost my handle cap fell off. That Iwana was already toast. That's why I picked up a new Ito the other week.

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  5. Aw, Man! It was fine as long as people thought it was the dragon dust.

    (But T!, whatever you do, don't tell them about the Unicorn hair lines. That's just between you and me, right?)

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    1. It'll stay our secret. It's all in how you furl the line anyway...

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  6. Damn, now I know why I have been getting so many calls lately at TUSA Customer Services wanting to know the stories and history of the unicorn hair. 8-) tj

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    1. I'll wait and talk to you in July TJ.. I want some unicorn mane for my Iwana!

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  7. Thanks for spilling the beans, man... Really? Please don't tell Owl.

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    1. Owl already knows. He's just not a believer.

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  8. Oh man, I've got a defective one too. No Unicorn Mane in my Iwana. Crap, just ruined my weekend and opening day being tomorrow I won't be able to fish Tenkara. Lilly looks cute in her Karategi. She'll be kicking a.. and taking names in no time. Watch out Dad.

    Mark

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    1. Sorry about that. Like I said, just check with Tenkara USA, they'll help you out. Lilly is ready to get after it...she's already got the kicking a.. part down.

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  9. I just checked, mine only has unicorn pubes in the handle.

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    Replies
    1. I was wondering if someone would go there!

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    2. Made a g'damn mess all over the kitchen table when I pulled off the cap.

      Thanks for that T-Rage.

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    3. I just hope those were unicorn pubes. There's a lot of pranksters in tenkaradom.

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    4. Tasted like unicorn....

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  10. All you got was that little piece of mane in your Iwana? Hell, I got a whole unicorn ear in my Shimano (and I hear the Diawas actually come with a coupon for a free streamside unicorn consult....)

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    Replies
    1. Wow, an whole ear. Far more impressive than a half or quarter of an ear.

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  11. Dear Lord, .......................................the Iwana they sent me had blue cotton candy in it. At least, I thought it was cotton candy...but it was really heavy and it did smell like horse crap. OMG....Unicorn poop! No wonder I couldn't find true harmony and unlimited trout with my Iwana. Dern.

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  12. I tried to take the cap off the bottom of my graphite rod and got sprayed with "Squatch" juice...smells bad, but the fish just started floating to the top. Gonna need a bigger net.

    Have fun with the Owl!

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