December 31, 2012

Reviewing 2012's Resolutions

I could take you on a trip down memory lane of all that was 2012 at Troutrageous!, but I wrote a post about not writing long year end recaps so I won't.  Quite honestly, I didn't feel like it was a banner year around here anyway, so there's not a great reason to re-live it all.  I wrote one relatively viral entry about holy livestock (that I thought was just going to be a "throwaway" post) and that was pretty much it.

However, for my own self-absorbed reasons, I will look back on the five resolutions I made in the beginning of the year to see how I fared.  The original post is HERE.  Don't worry, I'll be quick...

#1.  The Year of the Brook Trout
Not quite.  I caught some native & stocked brook trout with Owl Jones in the Smokies back in May that started the year off in the right direction, but that was about it.  Not a single brookie afterwards.  Boo.
Grade: C+

Owl with Brookie.  I caught some too, I swear...

#2.  Fish New (or Different) Water
The afforementioned Smoky Mountains in North Carolina, Salt in Islamorada, Florida, Wyoming with RD, Tenkara in Salt Lake City, Utah, a heck of a lot more warmwater than usual, and all capped off with a return trip to Central, NY.  Heck, hardly fished ol' reliable at all.  Big win.
Grade: A

Tenkara Master Dr. Ishigaki...holding a fish I just netted for him  (noticing a trend?)

#3.  Lose A Few More Pounds
Um...let's move on...
Grade: F(at)

My soundtrack for the year

#4.  Get This Crappy Blog (Just A Little) More Organized
Put together the advertising rate card & surpassed the social media milestones...the rest, not so much.
Grade: C-

Troutrageous!:  Behind the Scenes

#5. Give Back
Ugh, don't go there...
Grade: F

I've got nothing instead I present Psy....everybody loved Psy in 2012.

With that, let's put 2012 in the rear view...and bring on 2013.

December 30, 2012

So Who Won The T! Shirt & Other Crap?

Time to announce some winners of the contest...

As I mentioned, there were going to be 3 winners chosen at random...

The brains behind

...and here they are:

Size Medium T! Shirt & Crap TBD:

Size XL T! Shirt & Crap TBD:

Size 2XL T! Shirt & Crap TBD:

Okay you "winners"...I guess congratulations are in order.

Use the contact info found HERE to email me with your physical mailing address and I'll get these shirts out at some point...

As for the rest of you, thanks for playing along.  Sorry you didn't win this time, but don't feel too bad, the prizes weren't all that good anyway.

December 28, 2012

Giveaway - Free T! Shirt and Other Crap

Are all of you tired out from all of the pre-Christmas fishing giveaways?  Did you enter a bunch and not win squat?  Yeah, that's what I thought.  So here's your chance to win something of little to no value, a free T! Shirt, just like the attractive folks are fashionably modeling below.

Actually, I'm going to give away 3 of them.  I got one size Medium, one size XL, and one size XXL just kicking around with your (well, actually my) name on them.  Better in your house than mine at this point.

Plus, whoever wins will get some other crap thrown in for the heck of it.  Stickers, last year's TU calendar, the stupid Furby my daughter got for X-Mas, I dunno, just something random...I'm cleaning out my basement, and you're the beneficiary.

How do you play?  I'll try to make it easy....and copy the rules from Dub The Thorax because I'm too lazy to think of my own....

1.  You will get one entry in the drawing for commenting on this post - YOU SHOULD COMMENT ON THIS POST FOR YOUR ENTRIES TO BE VALID.

2.  For every Facebook share, Twitter tweet, Google+ whatever, or Instagram post about this, you'll get another entry
My Facebook page is HERE for sharing.  You also can find me on Twitter @troutrageous1, Google+ at +Troutrageous!, and Instagram @troutrageous1

3.  You can only comment on this post once
Make sure you include your preferred shirt size and where you shared this in your comment to get credit for all of your entries...if you don't comment on this post where you shared, I may not ever know.

4.  The maximum amount of entries is five per comment
(Comment example-"Hi this is John Fisherman, I wear a size XL shirt and I shared on twitter via @jfish, shared your FB post, shared on G+, and tagged you in my instagram photo" - He just earned himself 5 entries)

4.  This contest will run from now until 12/30/2012 at 12am EST 
(In other words late "Saturday night"). I will assign everyone entry numbers and use a random number generator to choose the winner at some point on Sunday morning.  If you're outside the continental US, we'll figure something out...I guess...

Got it?  Don't worry, if you mess up, I'll only make fun of you a little bit.
Now get after it.  Daddy needs a boost to the Google Analytics before the end of the year.

December 27, 2012

Helping All You Bloggers With Your Year End Posts

This week is notoriously famous as the time when most fishing bloggers either write up their "Year End Recap" or "New Year's Resolution" posts.  Just like when the doctor tells you to turn your head and cough, it happens every year and takes over blogrolls like MRSA.  Hell, I'm guilty of it myself...and in that I mean the New Year's Resolution posts, not the viral rash.

So with that, I'm gonna do you all a favor and give you 5 tips on how to help avoid having your year end post suck more than a hooker pushing a Dyson...although, on second pass, that would be pretty damn entertaining...

Don't like this pic...Google "Hooker Vacuum"
and see what comes up for yourself...

1.  No lengthy videos or photo slideshows of all of the fish you caught.  
C'mon with the 10 minute YouTube opus to bluegill already, one looks just like the rest.  If you're gonna do one of those, set the egg timer on your Windows Movie Maker to no more than 3 minutes in length (2 if only pictures).  fishingpoet did his movie correctly, click here & take notes.  And while you're at it, add some music (preferably with a beat) or else we're all going to fall asleep.  Might I suggest Rumpshaker by Wreckx-N-Effect?

2.  Don't write too much.  
Diarrhea of the keyboard does not make for a compelling post.  A few paragraphs, a few pictures, and get out.  Think using the restroom at a sporting event.  Keep talking to a minimum and don't shake my hand.  It's a recap, not your diary.  You've already written FAR too many uninteresting things this year.  Don't waste our time with one more, we're busy people...who need to use our time constructively on Facebook.  Got it?

3.  No lamenting over your blog's future...
I vomit in my mouth a little bit every time I read a blogger's struggle to fight their inner demons and re-dedicate themselves to this "craft" for the new year.  "Why do I do this?"  Because you're a narcissist like the rest of us.  Pull up your big boy pants and either stick around for another 365 or announce your retirement once and for all.  This is a cutthroat world we live in (ha, cutthroat, see what I did there?), and nobody wants to listen to someone whine...we got 99 problems and bloggin' ain't one.  

4.  Insert a stupid pop culture reference in your post, even if it makes no sense.  
Why is my 2012 New Year's Resolution post the #2 most viewed entry by a longshot?  The wonderful, revelation-filled goals I set for myself?  No, idiots Googling "Dave Hester YUUUUP" over, and over, and over....

Hey Dave...did you enjoy your 15 minutes of fame?

Will it entertain people the day you write it?  Hell no, but we're talking staying power.  Photobomb it right with alt text and you'll get hits on that bastard the entire year.  Don't know what alt text is?  Stick to Twitter.  Duck Dynasty, Amish Mafia, Moonshiners...the choice is yours.  Just stay away from Honey Boo Boo, picking on the mentally disabled ain't cool, unless it's family.

5.  Five is the magic number.  
Saying you have a Top 5 list is just sexier than saying you have a Top 4 list, and much easier to consume than a Top 10.  Remember 5 is the winning number when listing out your resolutions.  I'm snoring by 6.

Anybody remember the 6th Jackson Johnny?  Didn't think so.

Excellent.  Let the year end recaps begin!  I'm eagerly waiting to see what you all come up about 600 words or less...

December 26, 2012

Gear Review: 'Where The Yellowstone Goes' DVD

A week or two ago when I settled in to watch a copy of 'Where The Yellowstone Goes' I have to be honest, I had seen a Facebook post here or a blog post there noting the movie, embedding a link, or doing what people do in this social media age, but I never really gave much thought to viewing it.  I don't know why, I just didn't.

But following the viewing, I'm pretty happy I did.  And honestly, it's not really a film about fly fishing, as I thought it might be, but more on that later.

To set the stage, a brief overview...(stolen from the back cover of the DVD...why reinvent the wheel here...?)
...Experience a soul searching and inspirational 30-day drift boat journey down the longest undammed river in the contiguous United States.  Connect with colorful characters, get lost in the hypnotic cast of a fly rod, and save silhouetted moments of fireside stories on this heartfelt river adventure...
And with that a quick review...

First off, if you are expecting a fly fishing movie with lots of fish porn action and an aggressive soundtrack to match, go somewhere else, this isn't for you.  Yes, there's fishing footage in this movie, but the trout, whitefish, bass and carp are present in more of a supporting role to the Yellowstone River, as well as the many story lines interwoven into it's current.

What will you find?  A pretty damn (but no dams) enjoyable film that speaks to the Yellowstone River past, present, and future.  The film touches on the people - The Cake Ladies, Margot Aserlind, Roger Muggli - being three notables that you'll probably not soon forget.  It also hits some of the Western towns - Emigrant, Reed Point, Hathaway - each with a uniquely interesting character of their own.

On the flip side, you'll also unfortunately find the omnipresent environmental concerns of industrial developments in and around the river.  I'm not just talking about oil spills and hydrofracking, but simple things as building of homes to support population growth that eventually encroach upon and inadvertantly damage essential riparian areas. 

Much like a 30 day trip on the river itself, this film has its peaks and valleys.  Sometimes it drags a little bit as our adventurers travel from point to point, but a random sandstorm here or a sheep drive festival there picks up the pace almost immediately and you're just as engaged as when the boats first left shore.

It's a story that in my opinion was needed to be told well in order to make it both entertaining and informative.  Documentary can be dicey that way.  Director Hunter Weeks uses many tools - humor, bluntness, gorgeous visuals, etc... to convey his view of the river, and did a very good job tiptoeing that line, delivering from both angles.

Now I'm not going to tell you that much more about the film itself...because it's one you should carve a little under an hour and a half to form your own opinions about.  For not being what I'd call a "fishing film," I enjoyed it, and if you thoughts ever turn toward our Nation's great natural & physical resources, I think you probably will too.

The copy of 'Where the Yellowstone Goes' featured in this product review was provided to me at no cost by Hunter Weeks, the filmmaker; I currently hold no association with Mr. Weeks or any of the film's sponsors (Trout Headwaters, Montana, Simms, Costa Sunglasses, or American Rivers) whatsoever. That said, if Mr. Weeks ever decides to make a sequel on the ridiculously dammed Schuylkill River, he knows where to find me.  As with all independent gear reviews at Troutrageous!, I try my best to keep my reviews honest and unbiased. If something is good, it deserves applause; if it sucks, I'll let you know that too. That said, I probably wont waste my or your time writing a post about something that sucks, unless it's really that bad.

December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas 2012

I wanted to take the opportunity to write a short post and wish all of of the Troutrageous! readers out there a very Merry Christmas.

Today there will be no bad photoshops of fish wearing Santa hats, no awkward YouTube videos of elves tying flies, no off-color humor involving reindeer chum, and of course, no tenkara.

Just best holiday wishes to all, from your family here at Troutrageous!

December 21, 2012

December 19, 2012

The Instagram Fiasco of December 18, 2012

This is not necessarily a fishing post, rather it's somewhat of a social media post, as I tend to do here from time to time.  See in addition to being fisherfolk, most of my readers also partake in some form of social media, be it through bloggingFacebook, Twitter, whatever...

There was an interesting revelation regarding the updated terms of service of a popular photo sharing app/social network (that also happens to be owned by THE omnipresent social network) yesterday.  For those of you who weren't following along, here's a summary of the general reaction that took place in Instagramland...

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGHolycrapTermsofserviceWTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#boycott#boycott#boycott#boycottOMGOMGThey'regonnasellthepictureItookofmy3leggeddogtosomecompanytosellcameratripodsOMGOMGOMGelfontheshelfWTF!!!!#freeowljonesOMGOMGOMGI'msoouttahereI'mgonnatakemykelvinfilteredphotostoFlickrYEAHTHAT'LLGETEM@instagramyousuckBITEMEI'msooveryou.........Oh...wait...they're reconsidering.  Maybe I should too.  #sorry???

First off...Flickr...really?

Second, and more importantly...  Your pictures aren't that good and your kids aren't as cute as mine, so chill out.  Even after you cross processed your mini masterpieces (the photos, not the kids) with both X-Pro II and Hefe filters.  Don't worry, Kimberly-Clark ain't buying them for a national ad campaign...although honestly, if they did, you should be honored.  

When it comes to any form of social media, or internet stuff in general, if you don't want people to see it, don't write or post it.  Remember, every time someone searches cure for genital warts on Google, a person in Mountain View, California starts laughing...hysterically...

Third, and's all Cameron's fault.  He's the one who got the fishing scene into Instagram in the first place...I blame him for this mess.

See you on Pinterest...that's where all the chicks are anyway...

December 14, 2012


I'm taking the weekend off from blogging to spend extra time with my 6 year old daughter...whether she likes it or not.  There are many acts in this world that are difficult to comprehend.  The one described above is not one of  them.

The Allure of the Published Word???

I don't get it.

Okay, let me take a step back and at least provide some context so you know what the hell leads me to make such a contradictory and vague statement.

Christine Warren (The Fly Fish Chick) wrote a pretty damn good multi-segment blog post the other day.  Please read it HERE, it's worth the click through...just come back after you're done, okay...

Based on the amount of comments at the end of the post (and the familiar names making them), it's pretty clear many of you read it too.  That said, for those that didn't...a brief recap.

The first half was a pretty humorous look (through an intentionally sarcastic lens) at the many struggles to get her articles accepted and ultimately "published" by those finicky editors that work at print magazines.

The second half, is an example of one of the stonewalled articles, published in all its "I don't need no editor's approval" glory.  A good blog post on it's own, albeit somewhat overshadowed by the dramatic intro.

While it appears Christine has finally channeled her inner Willie Nelson and found peace with virtually publishing the article to her own blog as opposed to seeking the acceptance that a high gloss printed page provides, what stuck out to me was how many of the reader/blogger comments echoed similar sentiments toward their personal interactions with magazines - those of neglect, rejection, frustration, and denial...many with a dash of saltiness for good measure.

So I'm just curious.  As a fly fishing blogger that has really never even tried to get anything published (it's tough to embed awful YouTube videos in paper), what's the draw to magazines, books, etc...for you folks?

Put me in coach...

Don't misinterpret my ask.  I'm not trying to make it arrogantly sound like I think I'm superior because I don't care about the literal printed word.  I know this already and supplement my ego by creating and handing out free stickers by the dozens.  I'm really just curious as to the various motivations of my fellow bloggers in their journey to make the leap from virtual to actual.

What do you want out of it - Is it a need for self validation?  Is it a quest for a more tangible fame?  Is it the desire to fill the void of bathroom-friendly, portable reading material?  Is it money, groupies, and blow?  (If so, I might give it a shot).  I'd love to know, because as with most things that people clearly more intellectual than I participate in, and as I said to open...

I don't get it.

December 12, 2012

Rhode Island's Ongoing Fishmas Tree Controversy

For the second consecutive year, Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Pricklee is refusing to call the state’s Fishmas Tree a Fishmas Tree.

Championing secularism, Pricklee is insisting on calling the tree a ‘Gill-Bearing Animal Tree’ because he believes that one type of animal shouldn’t be promoted over another in Rhode Island's only State House / Long John Silver's.

Home of Governor Pricklee & the Fishmas Tree controversy

“I did what the previous governor did, called it a Gill-Bearing Animal Tree. So this goes back to the 90’s,” said Pricklee, whose position has once again, been met with outrage by Rhode Islanders who have pointed out that changing the name does not change the symbol.

Pricklee further enraged Rhode Islanders last week when he announced the state’s tree lighting ceremony a mere half hour before the actual event in order to stop protestors from attending. During last year’s ceremony, chaos broke out when protestors began singing “O' Fishmas Tree” over a children’s chorus.

Tartar sauce crowd control

However, Christmas loving Rhode Islanders have been invited to attend the Fall River, Massachusetts' Red Lobster's tree lighting ceremony by Mayor William Flatulence.

Mayor Flatulence of Fall River, MA

” We just feel all Rhode Islanders were gypped. They didn’t have an opportunity to go to their Long John Silver's lighting of the tree and enjoy the tradition,” said Flatulence, who also believes Pricklee is bowing to political pressure in his characterization of the tree.

But Pricklee’s statement that no species should take precedent in state buildings is undermined by a recent announcement that the state will hold a Millipede lighting ceremony to celebrate the beginning of Arthropodukkah.

Doreen Montoya, who protested the “Gill-Bearing Animal Tree” controversy last year by holding a Fishmas Tree lighting ceremony in her tropical fish & aquarium supply shop, has pointed out the hypocrisy of this statement, because unlike a Fishtmas tree, a Millipede refers to a specific type of Arthropod.

“If we have a Millipede in the Long John Silver's, what are we going to call it – a worm looking thing on fire?” said Montoya.

For Pricklee, the controversy shows no sign of abating.


Yes, this is pretty much stolen from here with tweaked words...  Whatever, it's satire.   Weird Al does it all the time.

December 9, 2012

Sunday Tippets Guest Post

I wrote a blog post for today, but not for this blog.

I'm pulling down the property value over at "The River Damsel," so go head over there if you want some advice on how to handle awkward fishing presents.

See you over there...

December 3, 2012


No, I'm not talking about this blog over the past few weeks...although it would be appropriate description of things...

I'm referring to my mini fishing outing on Sunday afternoon.  Before even stepping foot in the water I could tell it just wasn't going to be a great just had that vibe.

Grey skies...

I tried to compensate for this ominous feeling by heading over to my "Not So Secret Water." While it doesn't have the biggest fish in it (or even the mediumest fish), the inhabitants are typically eager to please.

...cold, gloomy...

Unfortunately, on this day they weren't.  Much like the dreary weather, I pretty much came up zeroes on this trip.  Heck, I didn't even see a single fish scatter from beneath my wading boots as I stumbled through their creek in my typical unstealthy Tenkara ninja fashion.

The rare picture of me fishing...unsuccessfully trying to coax a fish from a far corner riffle

Oh well.  Some days you can't have your cake and eat it too.  Yesterday, I didn't even get cake.  But I'm not complaining, even if the stream was lifeless.  The 3 hours on the water was just enough to recharge the batteries for the work week ahead.

Okay...maybe more like enough to get me through Tuesday...

December 2, 2012

Adopt A Honey Badger For Christmas

Need a holiday gift idea.? Give a stocking full of Honey Badger.

Yeah, the reference is kinda dated at this point, almost 2 years old by the real calendar...which means like 20 years in internet time...but to anybody that has a "Crazy Nastyass" on their Christmas list who "doesn't give a sh#t"...this still works.  

Plus the money goes to the WWF, which when I was a kid meant Leaping Lanny Poffo and even worse, the Killer Bees, but today means the World Wildlife Fund, so you can feel good giving such a gift...even though I don't know what their opinion is on impaling the mouths of innocent fish with steel hooks and yanking them from the water, (aka fishing)...although one might imagine not favorable.  Whatever.  It's what dear little Baby Jesus would have wanted, I'm certain.

Note:  This post was somewhat inspired by the "Pay it Forward" sale going on at Tenkara USA right now.  11' Iwana rods are on sale for $100 (normally $157.95), with $50 of sale going toward various outdoor charities.