The Troutrageous! Clan is embarking on a journey...one that we may not emerge from in one piece. Yup, we're driving to Florida (from Pennsylvania) for Christmas. Yes, I'm fleeing the horror that has been work for the last month, and on Thursday, will embark on the horror that is an extended family road trip.
No, no WallyWorld this year, but we're visiting the inlaws down in south Florida...which should make for a pretty interesting time...19 or so hours worth of interesting to be exact.
We've tried to split the trip down into four 4 hour segments, with an overnight in Savannah, GA, so in my infinite wisdom, have attempted to plan ahead and expect the trip down to look something like this...
6:00 AM - Leave house
6:45 AM - First "Are We There Yet?"
7:30 AM - Pee Break for Lilly
8:45 AM - Pee Break for K.C.
10:00 AM - Planned Stop #1 - Fredericksburg, VA - "America's Most Historic City"...and home to Salsa dancing according to Google.
11:00 AM - Crap, Lilly's DVD player is out of batteries
11:37 AM - Enough Kidz Bop!!!!! The Best of the Doobie Brothers is put in CD player.
12:05 PM - Pee Break for K.C.
12:16 PM - Pee Break for Lilly
1:15 PM - Break into the snacks. Cheetos orange encrusted steering wheel ensues.
2:00 PM - Lose feeling in feet.
3:00 PM - Planned Stop #2 - Fayetteville, NC - Why? Because it's there...and much like this champ, Lilly likes horses.
|Lookin' good Rusty...|
3:30 PM - Back on the road
4:20 PM - You mean we can't stop for 4:20?
5:00 PM - Damn, it's 5 o'clock already?
5:03 PM - No, were not there yet.
5:16 PM - Pee Break for Lilly & K.C
5:23 PM - I wet myself from not taking a pee break
6:03 PM - Almost time to stop for the night...
7:30 PM - Planned Stop #3 - Savannah, GA. Food. Hotel. Bed. This is where Paula Deen's from, right?
6:00 AM - Wake up and realize we still have 7 more hours of driving...
6:30 AM - Find a Shoney's and indulge in the breakfast buffet. Put grits on the plate, but leave confused.
7:25 AM - Mountain Dew #31 goes down the gullet
8:03 AM - Slip into the zone...dreaming of fishing...unconsciously driving the rest of the way to...
11:00 AM - DAYTONA BEACH! Which reminds me of watching MTV Spring Break while I was in high school, so envious of all of the drunken debauchery going on. Oh and boobies.
11:30 AM - Drive, drive, drive...oops, sorry Officer, I didn't realize I was speeding. Want a T! sticker?
12:00 PM - No, Lilly, those signs don't say Disneyworld Exit Right.
12:10 PM - NO LILLY, THOSE SIGNS DON'T SAY DISNEYWORLD EXIT RIGHT!!!
12:15 PM - NO LILLY,< @(*#^&%Y(*@#Y&$(*#&)(!!!!!!
1:30 PM - Immunity to 5 Hour Energy developed, slip back into mindless driving.
3:00 PM - Finally end up in Boca Raton, Florida. Immediately pass out.
Or something like that.
And that's only the drive down. I'm sure the drive back North will be even more enjoyable.
Have any of you ever done a similar trip? With kid(s)? Any advice to maintain sanity?
Also, if you've done the Florida trip before, any suggested stops along the way?
The last time I did the PA to FL road trip I was in college, and clearly had different priorities (i.e. yell out the window at girls driving by - as if that would make them stop an immediately succumb to my charms - and of course, acquiring alcohol and fireworks).
Would love to read your comments below.